Stream of thoughts

Last post in this Blog

2005-05-29T00:08:00.000-07:00

I wont be using this blog any more..

This is the last post in this blog. I have to get over certain memories and may be using this blog would not help me.

2005-05-28T19:11:00.000-07:00

yet another heart break, yet another failure in relationship. is it yet another one. nope. i am shattered and it is very tough for me to have another relationship after this. i know what impact it has on me.

she might forget me with ease but i cannot. she would remain to be my love for ever..

2005-04-11T10:40:00.000-07:00

I am the luckiest guy in this world..

I cannot express my happiness in words..

2005-04-06T06:37:00.000-07:00

I am searching..

I am searching for those days when we walked together..
hands around arms..with the excitement of two kids..

I am searching for the time we spent together..
hand in hand..talking..as hours fly by in a flash..

I am searching for the emotional bond we shared..
literally unbreakable..which sadly did break..

I am searching for you..
whom I have lost the day you walked out of my life..

I am searching for myself..

I am searching..

2005-03-30T10:17:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the interruption in the series of posts with another unrelated post..

We were able to pitch our biz plan quite well to the VC. In the end, he had only one suggestion to make. He seemed to be okay with our presentation. Then Sasi continued with his ORIGINAL WORK in Pilani.

Raj, Teju and I went back to the room after having lunch at a restaurant in Nutan. Back in the room, three of us made the wildest video ever made on the campus of BITS. I have no words to explain the video. Teju, Raj and I decided to call it a soft porn video with clothes on.

In the evening we met Harshie and Deepa in the temple lawns, our two women army. The days we spent in BITS would not have been the same had it not been for Harshie and Deepu.

The day passed off as did the night and the next day we were ready for the final presentation. We were there on the right time and found that there is a delay. We were waiting..

To be continued..

2005-03-28T12:09:00.000-08:00

This day..I lost some one with out having gained her ever..
For one second it looked as if I have gained her and my world was so colourful..
It took no longer to shatter all those..Those turned out to be mere illusions..

I have seen tears in my eyes today after longgg time..I dont know why the ever jovial harsha is so sad. I really want to cry my heart out.. I want to lean on a shoulder and get solace from that for sometime..
When I look around, I find none..Why does it look so blank..It is dark everywhere..I see no one..

Continued..

2005-03-22T18:18:00.000-08:00

Raj did something on the train at the New Delhi RS, which broke all his principles. He was radical and dynamic, I cannot write more than this over here.
Four of us wanted to have a bath and went to a Hotel nearby the RS. In the room, suddenly Raj, Teju & I suddenly recognised a window. Wondering what could be outside, Teju opens the window and what we find??? We find Sasi in the bath room. First time in my life I saw a bath room having a window which opens from the other room. What a scary sight it was. Teju & I have decided to nominate the architect to some International award.
And then at last we found the other guys waiting for us and took a Tata Sumo for Pilani. This vehicle was a typical "dhakka start gaadi".
The journey looked short with the fun we had in the journey and at last we reach Pilani at 5.00PM.
Sasi took care of the formalities and we were allotted our rooms. We made our way to Gandhi Bhawan and what we got over there was rooms with 3" layers of dust. This was a special welcome for BITS to its guests.
We had a stroll around the Campus and called Harsha Vinnakota. After a long chat with her at the temple lawns and a flash meet with Neelu, Raj, Teju and I head towards ANC (All Nights Canteen) for some food.
Here was where Raj found his all time favourite food, ANC dosa.

As the fun continued, we realised that we need to sleep for a while and when we got up in the morning, we realised we were getting late for the initial round.
Four of us made it quick and rushed for the initial round with..

To be continued..

2005-03-20T18:24:00.000-08:00

It all started in September and it seemed to end in October.
No, it didn't. It restarted in February. I realised i am an integral part of HABITS.

Past one week had been almost the special week for HABITS and me.

The team travelled to Pilani for a business idea conquest held by BITS. Four of us worked hard in week 2 of this month to make money for the trip. The work continued till almost the last hour, espescially for the CMO.

And then it was the journey to Delhi - Packing clothes, food and other sudnries. Shillu (Sasi's sister) dropped Teju, Sasi and me at the station. As usual it was me who bought the heaviest luggage. Raj was there on time. Anu, Raj and Priyanka were over there for the send off. Forgot, Nandu(My cousin) was on the same journey for the same destination.

If the journey was any indication, there was loads of fun in store for us. Those mock fights between Sasi & Me, Teasing Raj, Discussions about scenarios and all. But, the best of all:
My sleep was broke abruptly due to some voices from the next berth in the train, I knew sasi was sleeping on that berth. As i lifted my head, I was surprised and didnt know what I was seeing. I saw a pair of legs and someone' head on the same side. I rubbed my eyes and as the picture became more clear, I realised that during the night some army guy sliently slipped off on to sasi's berth when sasi was dozing off. But, the best thing was his blunt denial when he was asked to get off from the berth. Finally he got off when he realised Sasi was not alone. But, the incident was among the funniest I have witnessed.

And after all these funny incidents, some good as well bad jokes among us, the train reached Delhi. Four of us got ready to get down when...

To be continued..

Same people, same minds, different situations.

2005-03-05T20:28:00.000-08:00

Few months ago, i had a disagreement with a person whom I did not know for long and both of us parted ways in our professional lifes.
Only sensible thing we did was not to part ways in personal life and let the friendship build. Over the few months, we understood each other more and probably somewhere both of us realized that we need to accept the other guy as he is.
This thought did help, we joined hands again in professional life and now we are into an alliance which will last long. I do realize that with respect for others' domain work now the whole team is in the process of becoming an awesome combination...

I can definitely say I am happy we are back together..

2005-02-24T04:27:00.000-08:00

its been 2 months since i realised role of an employee is no more suitable for me..

Last 2 months i thought upon various things and chalked out many plans..

Now, I am relaxedly (though busy) working for my own company (i own it along with 3 other friends). It feels like I was made to be independent and I feel the scent of being independent..Life looks very beautiful though the path ahead is not easy..

I am surprised

2005-02-10T12:44:00.000-08:00

All my life i thought i had the ability to guess the proceedings well in advance. I always thought so.

However, there have been two instances which realllllly surprised me.
One of them happened today when a friend of mine married one acquaintance of mine. Two distinct poles getting tied into a knot. Man, wonders do happen and they are still happening.
Second incident, i am scratching my head..... I dont remember..... I am still scratching my head......

The devil shall come back

2005-01-26T00:01:00.000-08:00

This is to announce that dythargor's blog will be live and active soon.
and this time the devil's stream is much forceful.

2004-12-21T08:10:00.000-08:00

It has been 3 months with this audit firm now. I never expected me to work for this long with any one.

Looking back, i gained two increments and friendship with all the colleagues. i did not realise that i have started enjoying working with these guys. It has been total masti with great work to do.

2004-12-13T22:28:00.000-08:00

I must be the subject of a hot debate at the client's place and the guy who has been deputed to assist me should be cursing me for long now.
yesterday i walked into the client's place at 9.30 am as usual. In the evening i requested the finance manager to ask someone to stay back beyond 6.00pm in the evening for a couple of hours. One young chap, he gladly agreed. Pity, he didnt know which i didnt know as well. I stayed back, which forced him to stay back, till 6.00 AM today, in the office. I didnt even realise that it was getting too late, may be 'cos of the deadline which was hanging in my mind.

2004-12-12T12:17:00.000-08:00

Atlast, astlast there was a break from the routine.
Yesterday, had hell lot of fun in the noon at a friend's birthday party which continued in the evening with a trip to buddha's statue in hussainsagar.

And now back to pavilion, same old schedules, targets and calculations of mandays.

2004-11-28T01:30:00.000-08:00

Its been 4 years since i went to chennai reluctantly to join prime academy. I feel happy that reluctance didnt win me that time. That journey has got me so many friends, but most importantly shashi, anu and kalpana. These ppl. always have a special place in my heart and in my life.

The best festival

2004-11-11T20:24:00.000-08:00

HAPPY DIWALI.

Atlast on a Z grade pitch

2004-11-06T06:52:00.000-08:00

The Indian team managed a consolation win atlast.

But, can this win be something which we can claim of. If we can claim, then we should not have blamed Newzealand for substandard pitches. We should also not have accused SriLanka that they prepare pitches on which ball keeps low. 38 wickets in 2 days on the same pitch which has seen many batting records, something which will be a shame on the team management and the pitch curator.

Is it going to be a repeat of 2000

2004-11-02T07:02:00.000-08:00

Supposed to be world's strongest nation, economically, militarily and what not including hypocricy. However, in 2000, their president had to be decided in a court after many ugly fights between bush and gore.
Now, 2004:

IS THIS GOING TO BE A REPEAT OF 2000, IF THE OPINION POLLS ARE TO BE BELEIVED.

WhAt Do I wRiTe

2004-10-27T09:28:00.000-07:00

Home - Office. Office - Home....
This has been the way days have been going except for an orkut meet for approx. an hour on Sunday. So what will i have to write over here. Right now nothing. Singing a song
"Jaane kahan gaye woh din"

Yummy, delicious and what not

2004-10-23T07:26:00.000-07:00

.

I tried this for the first time around 6 years ago and from that day i eat it everyday it is available and once the ramzan season is over, i wait eagerly for the next season, mainly beacuse of this -
HALEEM.

Yet another dish Hyderabad can claim of ( i feel its the best in the cuisine here, though biryani is much famous ).

A perfect Saturday Night

2004-10-16T15:16:00.000-07:00

This Saturday night was just a BLAST. To start with my fav. haleem is back ( i can still feel the yummy taste ). Its been the best saturday night for sometime now. Started with Gharbha and dhandiya at K.K. Hall with 5 more guys. Then one joined us at 11.00 and we had great time playing dhadiya at sec'bad club till 12.30 pm( more than dhandiya it was the girls around, that was fun ). But, the best was yet to come. It was Mallareddy function hall, around 1500 guys and gals playing dhandiya. WOW, i cant believe we had been dancing all the night and i still yearn for more.
New friends, good food and greatttt entertainment; i cant ask for more for a saturday night.

Neglected Superstar

2004-10-14T09:53:00.000-07:00

After effects of work. Laziness to write posts. However i wanted to write this.

.

He has been the most neglected superstar of this decade. Won many many matches but still looked as a second option. His heroics are unlimited. If not for injuries which kept him out for long long time, he would have been in the 500 wickets club already. and unlike Kapil he joined 400 wickets club in style, picking up the wickets of few of the best batsmen and when he has lot of cricketing life left in him.

Kick on Butt, to think.

2004-10-01T14:11:00.000-07:00

I have resigned and been chucked out of an yet to be formed business almost at the sametime. It did happen at the sametime.
Resignation : I know the reasons.
Chucked out : Yet to be CEO knows the reasons.

Anyway he has done me one favour. He has left the deepest wound, which i wish never heals. I need it to ignite the passion and challenge in me to prove the world what i am. and also to prove that my resignation( chucked out at the sametime ) is his business' loss and my gain.
Wound unhealed forever........

Why the difference

2004-09-30T19:49:00.000-07:00

Why the difference,
These men were considered villians and are still considered villians.

.

Then how better are these guys.

.

How better is the man sitting in front of the desk.

.

Fuhrer's dictate : Food at Kamat, a strict NO

2004-09-30T07:39:00.000-07:00

My client place is at such a superb location, the only place which has express food delivery is KAMAT. It is spoiling, NO destroying my taste buds with the stale food it serves. Pathetic it is that i have no other option. Somebody save the Fuhrer...

Aftereffects of office

2004-09-29T09:38:00.000-07:00

Tiredness or laziness, i dont know. but, my fingers refuse to type after daylong work at client's place ( it looked unusually long today ). i want to write something but am being overtaken by sleep. if i remember the next time i login, i shall write about it.

Resolute to break a resolution

2004-09-28T09:04:00.000-07:00

Why do I make some resolutions which i cant stick to.

I resolved that i shall conentrate on fitness and i shall exercise everyday. that everyday though seems does not exist.
I resolved that i shall not be a spendthrift anymore. hardly any seconds later, i empty my valet.
I resolved that i shall start my preparation for CIMA. now, whats CIMA.
I resolved that i shall not think about her. Can I, i am already doing that.

Hey, you... why do you make resolutions......

Clean Bowled

2004-09-23T08:44:00.000-07:00

As i was thinking about the girl whom i met not long ago, i hear voice of mom saying, Harsha you have got a Parcel. Curious me, picked up the parcel and opened it savagely however not disturbing the contents. It contained three covers and a packet in it. Found three cards and a letter in those covers. Puzzled me, did rip those covers and started reading them eagerly.

Once i was through reading the letter and the cards, i was really really surprised. I asked myself, Can somebody love one so much, that too a guy like me who shows little respect for other's emotions.
I should say i was cleanbowled, had not even a piece of grass to defend myself against this lovely inswinging yorker at a speed of 200kmph ( shoaib akthar has to go for a robtic hand to break this barrier ) from her. She penetrated all the defences with a single stroke. I really got to think hard now to keep talking with her and still say a NO. How long can i do that........

And the packet contained a silver replica of Lord Krishna, her favourite God ( she says so ).

I dont understand whats this

2004-09-23T08:32:00.000-07:00

I cannot resist myself from thinking about her. I saw her at my client's place ( she works for them ). From then till now she has been with me in my thoughts, all the time. I was surprised about this and i asked myself few things :

Q. Is this Love?
A. Can't be.

Q. Is this Lust?
A. Dont think so.

Q. Is this attraction?
A. Cant deny it.

Q. Where is this going to lead?
A. Dont know, not interested in knowing.

But, i do know one thing. I have been and am thinking about her. Infact i am waiting for it to be day again so that i meet her again. Hey, i am already looking east waiting for the sun. I pray, Woh Subahki Raat hi Nahin. ;-)

Man and his ego

2004-09-21T19:22:00.000-07:00

Why is it so that a man has ego. why is it so that a man does always try to satisfy his ego. why is it so that a man fails to see that his ego is rupturing his relations with others. why is it so. does it make a man blind and deaf.

Risk

2004-09-13T10:29:00.000-07:00

There was a discussion going at my home, about the risk my uncle is undertaking by venturing into new business. My father has been talking about the risks involved.
I then tried to recollect few things which have no risk. there were none. Everything to be done on this world involves somesort of risk, visible or hidden, tangible or intangible.
I am trying to still make a list of riskless things. Any suggestions????????????

Atlast, atlast

2004-09-07T13:20:00.000-07:00

Atlast i am going to be busy on a consistent basis. I have a project to take care of, all by myself and i am also happy being involved by few friends in another.
With kind of busy schedule ahead, i hope i am not going to write another blog saying that i am irritated by being idle - 'cos i dont see me being idle in the near future.

Many things have been happening in my life, but among the things to remain constant one happens to be my phone friend. Makes me feel, there are people in this world who are crazy without a limit....

2004-08-25T23:07:00.000-07:00

Recently i have joined an online community where they discuss lots of things. One discussion was funny - reunification of India, paksitan and Bangladesh.

When would these guys recognise that such a thing can never happen. and why should we let another country merge with us which has economic unrest, political unrest, social unrest, demographic unrest.... where everything is unrest and nothing has rest.

And Bangladesh... less talked much better. looks like the neighbouring communists from this side rubbed off their ideas&practices regarding strikes&dharnas to those ppl.

Pray there is peace but also pray these be never merged.

Hey u hypocrat

2004-08-23T20:18:00.000-07:00

Many a times people say that one of their dislikes is either hypocrisy/dishonesty/both. Of the little knowledge i have in English, what i understand of hypocrisy is insincerity by virtue of pretending to have qualities or beliefs that you do not really have.

How many of these are not hypocrats or have not ever lied. I beleive every man has an element of hpocrisy in him which comes out at sometime. I beleive i had quite few of those moments and what i gather from many people's experiences is they have had such moments.

I do beleive the best example of hypocrisy is to express such dislikes. Somebody listening there, now am i a hypocrat......

Machine Mania/Fobia

2004-08-22T11:43:00.000-07:00

It goes like this....
There was a man. He had nothing to do. So he thought what shall he do. Then he thought i will create a machine.
He creates a machine, he further develops the machine.
The machine does many things amazingly well better than what the man does.
Now the man starts fearing the machine, he plans to destroy it.
The machine resists and there comes a saviour who destroys the machine and saves the mankind.

This is the crux of many movies the west has been churning out for more than a decade. I think those guys are paranoids. They depend on machines and they constantly fear someday machines may overtake humans. Another movie in this genre is I,Robot.
I liked the Car ( designed by Audi ) what the hero uses in the movie and i liked the cute robots, but the movie goes on expected lines and i felt it lacks the shock element which pushes you to the edge of the seat. I advise it for someone who is as idle as i am....

2004-08-22T04:48:00.000-07:00

I had been to a place 130km south of hyderabad today to meet a family friend of mine. I got a chance to see my childhood close friend after 13 long years, she was a plump naughty talkative kid then and now she has grown into a calm,beautiful girl. I was really surprised that she recognised me as soon as she saw me after these many years.
What days they were, She, her sis' & bro., my sis' & I were the most notorious group back there those days and did so many mischiveous things. As soon as i saw the place i felt as if i lost something there and i realised that 13 long years made me lose all the affection they used to shower for all these years. and now we know each other but the distance is so clearly evident, i wish i never grew up.....

Irresponsibly Responsible

2004-08-20T08:13:00.000-07:00

Today i reexperienced people's lack of responsibleness. I fail to understand why ppl donot feel responsible and are in contiuous search for some other to take up their responsibility. Today it was a computer vendor and tomorrow it may be my colleague. Cant people act responsibly? and i still get to hear about others' irresponsibleness from the same guy, the world never changes - people always point finger at others ( not the middle finger this time ;-) ).

2004-08-18T22:10:00.000-07:00

Whats happening to me???? Looks like i have stopped thinking. I dont know but i dont have many thoughts these days. I will greet u next when i start thinking again.

2004-08-17T22:47:00.000-07:00

hey hey hey, atlast my computer is working again. why would not it work, i had to change most of the parts. Its been almost 6 weeks since i did not have access to net at home due to this.
Anyway cant talk much right now, since i gotta catchup with an interview. wish me luck.....

2004-08-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

Been long boring days for past week or two, except for few activites ( which donot last long ). since there is no activity my mind does not allow me to think and hence no thoughts. what do i do? hope this inactivity ends soon............

2004-08-09T19:58:00.000-07:00

My computer at home, still to be repaired - result - i have to surf the net at a net cafe. and this cafe is the best i have seen, it simply takes a day or two perhaps to load a webpage. it goes on and on and looks never ending.
Recent talks with few friends seem to end with a discussion on love. why is it such a hot topic, i fail to understand. could someone enlighten me in this regard.
meanwhile, this phonefriend of mine send me a msg that she wont msg/call me for sometime and that sometime lasted for exactly 6 hours......

2004-08-08T03:00:00.000-07:00

Days look longer now. i dont know why, but, it looks like i am running out of methods/devices/ways/systems to kill time. and my interviews are still 15 days away at the least. Somebody please suggest a way to kill time.....

2004-08-04T10:12:00.000-07:00

long time, since i wrote anything over here. many many many things have happened in between and also, my computer went for a toss. and also, a small change has occured in my life. i have a tail now which has a name, its called CA. i am a chartered accountant now. i thought it would make a big difference but i dont see any (even remotely).
all these days i have been watching movies and doing many many other things. But, all is going to change now(hopefully). have to find a org. which could bear me and tap my potential. hope there is some such organistion on this earth..........

2004-07-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

I watched the movie Lakshya yesterday. The movie happens to be among the best movies i have watched. Good performance, good screenplay(javed could have done much better but still it was really good), good music(shankar, ehsaan & loy should sweep the awards for music this year) and too good visuals. But the unfortunate part is the movie looks like a flop, it has got a flop talk already, but i strongly advise watching this. It is better than any sharukh movie( i wonder how these become so big hits).

2004-06-30T21:12:00.000-07:00

hoohoooo, atlast my idleness is ending(atleast for few days). My old office has given me a call for work with a new client.
I would be out of town for 15 days or so starting from tomorrow.
And the work looks exciting as well. Now i have a deviation from the regular boring schedule of doing nothing for past 30 days.
Relief, thats a small word..........

2004-06-28T07:14:00.000-07:00

Looks like this rainy season is becoming love season(without rains ofcourse). Two of my friends have fallen in love(seperate affairs, not with each other) and another looks like he is on the brink of falling in love( though he would not accept it).

Weather has been great this evening(perhaps 1st time this rainy season). Inspired by the weather perhaps mom prepared and I had great yummy snacks, fried corn with spicy onions, mouth watering - still. Hope the monsoon will favour and the mercury goes down, till now this rainy season had too many a hot days.

2004-06-25T23:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday i was driving back from my friend's place at around 10.30 in the night. it took me more than 15 minutes to get back though it is very nearby my place. two reasons, PATHETIC road(dug up) and traffic. not too long ago, same road wore a deserted look by 8.30 in the night. but same is not the case now.
driving on road has become pathetic for three reasons:
1)Increasing Traffic ( and abysmal driving too),
2)Worsening condition of roads,
3)High cost of fuel ( indirect effect; when i bought my bike, not too long ago it was in feb 2000, one litre of petrol cost me around Rs.26 as against Rs.40.08 today).

2004-06-23T10:40:00.000-07:00

Of many complex things in world ( truly i find most of the things to be complex, just like me, beyond my comprehension) love is one such thing. After a call i received this afternoon, i am still the more puzzled. I hope somebody enlightens me in this aspect.

2004-06-22T12:04:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine asked me to make a promise and i dont know why i said this but i did say this:
Promise - fulfilled when you forget that i have ever made that,
Promise - unfulfilled when you still remember that it is to be fulfilled.

2004-06-19T10:10:00.000-07:00

The girl i have been talking about, she has left hydeabad for her workplace. she told me that though she's leaving hyderabad, she wont stop sending me messages. I hope to meet her somewhere near future.

Looks like atlast i'm back to routine with my studies after a interview(a big big joke, it was). Formed a study group today, but i still am not confident whether i can concentrate really.

2004-06-18T04:58:00.000-07:00

I had been for a real longgggggggg drive today. the weather was really great and soon after teh drizzle, it was gorgeous, i just cant describe. simply, it was greattt.
i donot understand this new friend of mine, now suddenly she sounds as if she is possessive and as if i have known her for long. she really does confuse me.

2004-06-10T19:22:00.000-07:00

i had been to a seminar on higher education in canada yesterday. it was supposed to be conducted by canadian education centre. i thought i would get some information. i was back from the seminar puzzled, why do people conduct such seminars when they cannot provide proper information.
a friend with whom i talk daily left for a holiday, i will miss talking to her.
then i met putin and spent the evening at his class, he teaches english very well (now i plan to ask him to teach me english).

2004-06-08T20:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday a very close friend of mine came to my place. met her almost after 6 months. she was there till the evening at my place.
and this sms friend of mine, i knew something more about her today.
other than that it had been a lazy day, moreover i had problems with the net.

2004-06-07T10:02:00.000-07:00

wanted 2 read a novel, but was feeling very very lazy. and then i got an invitation to watch harry potter's new movie. thought i would try it, anyway i have nothing much important to do.
Nice movie, but the problem with harry potter movie is though it is nice it is not as captivating as is LOTR. anyway, worth a watch.
In the evening had a new friend(sms friend) accidentally(she caused it not me). If what she said until now happens to b true, i know something(ofcourse very little) about her. gotta know more about her tomorrow.

2004-06-06T03:27:00.000-07:00

Watched a movie called HUMTUM with a friend and 2 more friends of my friend. After the movie i realised this, Hindi movie reels are made to be elastic, they stretch like anything.
Saif was ok but rani looks horrible in the movie.

Came back to home and had a very heavvvyyy lunch and i feel sleepy now.
But guys, please do stay away from this movie HUMTUM, hey all those of u who dont like me do watch the movie(i want u to suffer too...)

2004-06-05T04:53:00.000-07:00

Had nothing much to do, so thought i would read one more novel and this would be the novel i would not forget for a vey long time - "Message in a Bottle".
Surely not the best i have read but it had the best characters i have read. And i'm truly jealous of kevin costner for having the chance to live as Garrett Blake even if it was for 2hours odd.

Definitely among the best characters i have read.

2004-06-04T06:49:00.000-07:00

Was sleeping on the terrace and rain greeted me at 5.00 am. this summer has not been the kind of summer we've been used to. what do ya say bluefreak. Wanted to go for a long ride with some friend but unfortunately all but for me were busy with their job.

Anyway there was a compensation for the ride missed out - The Cain Conversion. Novel worth a read.
But now thats been finished mind still puzzled on next course of action.
what do i do...................

2004-06-02T21:31:00.000-07:00

Yes'day night wanted to have some fresh air and went to the terrace. I saw 2 kids, never seen before in my apartments, looking at something curiously trying to analyse it.
Children and their curiosity, it made me remember how curious i was to know each and everything when i was a kid. ( infact once, a bus driver fedup of being quizzed about functioning of bus threatened me that he would throw me out of the bus and another uncle famous for his patience lost his cool and asked(rather shouted) me not to ask anything further.) But, as we grow up in the so called struggle for life, we lose this curiosity somewhere perhaps(I dont assign it to everyone - listen putin).

2004-06-01T20:45:00.001-07:00

I dont remember what time it was. I opened my eyes, there she was.
It was her, i could feel her. She has been talking all the time we were together, all the moments. and i was listening to her. Suddenly someone shook me, i woke up and realised it was dad. she was nowhere to be seen. Damn it now that i, rather we have agreed that it is a finished episode why does she refuse not to enter my thoughts. (infact a week back she had the same complaint). where would she lead me or when would she leave me. I can do it, can i?

2004-06-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

Completed reading "I am Jackie chan". a nice book. anyway, even if it wasnt great guys like me love anything related to jackie chan and his movies. what do u say bluefreak?

I wanted to read another book but donot know what happened. By the time i opened my eyes i slept for almost 4 hours, never knew i was missing sleep so badly.

2004-05-30T08:52:00.000-07:00

Today i realised two things:

1.Safe Bet(aka fixed deposit) - Schumi wins

2.Speculation(aka stock market) - Mclaren finishes the race

2004-05-29T20:37:00.000-07:00

Got up late in the morning. was thinking what do i do today and remembered that i had nothing to do. but it has been so for past 4 days. i realised its becoming increasingly difficult to stay idle. when will this end?

2004-05-29T12:15:00.000-07:00

Had been to the movie "the day after tomorrow". wasnt a bad movie but i thought there was something missing in that which made it a good one. My friend teju agrees on it. but anyway it was total timepass. by the way schumi got the pole position again( why is he not bored of it?) by the way does somebody have a count when did schumi NOT finish the race for consecutive three times.

2004-05-29T03:26:00.000-07:00

wanted to book 7 tickets for "the day after tomorrow". Went to a theatre along with a friend and found it full. went to a multiplex with no hope, by the time my chance came in the Q, there were exactly 7 tickets left. My friend & i were surprised at the luck(just enough tickets).

2004-05-27T22:02:00.000-07:00

its been sometime since i've been so free in mind. its like i'm a free bird now. i feel relaxed and i know i am really happy. the other day i had been to a friend's wedding reception. it really surprises me why people spend too much and do not make it a grand event still. i dont know why, the expenditure was visible there but nothing else..

2004-05-14T19:29:00.000-07:00

I had an interview today. was it an interview, no it was something like an informal chat in which i was stabbed and i had not even a blade for resistance. my friend who wsa there with me says that i shall still land up with that job. lets see.. and i had a lunch with few friends yes'day. its 2 days to exams and i still donot have that anxiety. i dont know why???

2004-05-12T18:23:00.000-07:00

Back 2 home after spending 4 days at teju's place. it was great 4 days when i studied and enjoyed as well. Had fun really. Looks like the friendship is now the same way as it used to be. I just cant say how happy i am but i could say that among all these very happy days, this shall stand tall, very tall....

2004-05-12T09:48:00.000-07:00

I am happy. I have a chance to make it to a nob which would really keep me happy and satisfied (so far the job profile explained looks so). I always felt CA is a great course but its not exactly my kind. I tried for a career change with HCU but it was not upto mark and i left it midway. Now this may be a temporary one but atleast it will let me give a try if i am able to get the job.

2004-05-10T09:28:00.000-07:00

There were days when i did nothing except play football, cycle around the colony as if a daburman was chasing me and do nothing but read all&sundry books. I was never unhappy. But, increasingly i have been feeling for past few months, i am not doing justification to my talent. Why am i getting frustrated? I was never so when i did nothing. And suddenly i can feel the urge in myself that i have to do something. And strangely nothing in me feels bad about not choosing to join those jobs inspite of those including names like Nestle, American Express.. I know that what makes me feel bad is not academic, its the harsha very few people know, who has kept all his talents to be showcased to himself and these days he is not allotting them much time. But how much time can i allot, there are only 24 hours of which CA has been consuming atleast 9-12 hours a day; my system demands another 2hrs or so. So where's the time?

2004-05-06T03:02:00.000-07:00

I hope its not true, i really hope its not true. I thought many things have returned to normal in my life. all most everything has except the thing with my relationships with people. i dont why, its not the way it usd to be. there is something artificial, i dont know why but there is it. now i realise one big thing, there is only one whom i am sure about, ME.

2004-04-26T08:22:00.000-07:00

I feel today has been one among the many many great days of my life which have been pouring rarely these days. I felt after doing that test and interview that well i'm really not that bad what i thought to be for past few months. i feel this is something which may help me get back my confidence i was proud of( i have seen it coming to me recently but never this brightly). I think i can do what i want to if i put in a little bit of extra effort, and i can do what i have always wished to do. Next 30 days are really crucial and i think its high time that all the hardwork i have done to come handy. Whoever sees this pleasse pray for my success in the final exam which i feel has been longdue. I want to have that tag "chartered accountant" attached to my name in July, 2004 when the results will be most probably announced. And before stopping i feel i should be really grateful to my family and friends espescially Gopi, Prashanth and Teju for the support they have given me, whenever i needed it.